Yeah! It will be a Taco Tuesday, including ground beef, shredded chicken, all the toppings, corn salad, and cinnamon churros. 
Roger Roller passed on the coveted trophy to Ron Lichtle for checking into the hospital nine times in the last year. You would think he would have gotten cheaper housing at any 5-star hotel.- Sheriff/Mayor Bryan Barnett kicked off his reign of terror by raising funds for Rochester Rotary Charities with a dramatic shout-out to the 250th anniversary of the USA, then immediately turned to Jerry Carvey and asked what it was like to have lived through it. History lesson: brutal.
- Carol Franciosi was fined for the triple offense: answering a phone during the Pledge of Allegiance, putting it on speaker, and then chatting as if she were ordering lunch.
- Sheriff Bryan then fined Ron Lichtle for being hospitalized nine times; sure, he was eventually cured, but apparently that’s no excuse.
- The Sheriff also noted that the only time the Club went completely silent today was when we were trying to identify the mystery supermodel in our midst. Naturally, he requested photographic evidence for research purposes.
- The Club welcomed back Mark Tisdale, who then spoke for 40 minutes (some attendees dispute this).
- The 2026 Detroit Auto Show opened Media & Industry Days today. Mayor Barnett was the only Club member in attendance, so naturally, all vehicle owners were fined $5 for not being important enough to be invited.
The Detroit Red Wings are in first place in the Atlantic Division, so if you’ve been to a game, are wearing red (visible or not), or even thought about hockey today, pay up.
The Detroit Pistons are also in first place in the Eastern Conference, so all Pistons fans were fined $5. Bonus fine if your car has pistons. Double bonus if you don’t even like basketball.- President-Elect Blake McLellan let the power go straight to his head and imposed a 25% tariff on all Canadian Rotarians present. After observing activity in Venezuela, he also expressed interest in assuming leadership of the Rotary clubs in Orion Township and Oxford. No, Sir. Absolutely not! Sit down.
- All Rotarians who were not wearing Rochester Hills socks were fined. Shockingly, the only person wearing them was, of course, the Sheriff.
- Sheriff Barnett then spiraled into random philosophical questions:
- Should funeral director and Rotarian John Modetz be fined if no one dies in a given week?
- Should Russ Sheldon be fined for selling his boat after repeatedly being fined for not hosting every Rotarian on it?
- Should all librarians be fined simply for sitting together and clearly plotting something?
- Still desperate for cash, Sheriff Barnett moved on to “This Day in History”:
- The National Geographic Society was founded on January 13, 1888, evidence that curiosity about people, places, and cultures has long existed.
- And on January 13, 1995, the first all-female team to compete in the America's Cup, America3, made history by winning their first race, which, frankly, also sounds like something Sheriff Barnett would fine everyone else for not doing.
Thanks to Sheriff Barnett’s highly creative (and mildly terrifying) enforcement style, we raised $197 for our scholarship program. Not bad for a little public shaming and laughter, but not as good as Sheriff Stuhlreyer's haul last week. Let the competition continue.
Remember, these “fines” are all in good fun and serve a great purpose: building camaraderie and raising funds for our charitable efforts—especially scholarships. Let’s keep living the Rotary motto, “Service Above Self,” with enthusiasm, punctuality, and a healthy dose of Rochester pride and sass.
SPEAKER
Architecture Today